Hey, I was willing to overlook the one baby snake we found last month. It could have been some wayward copperhead that never read the homeowner’s association memo. Illiterate, lost, whatever, Em used the business end of a new shovel to send the nasty thing to it’s reward. One snake, one bad Sunday morning, over and done.

Or so I thought.

On my way to work this morning I saw my sweet neighbor-lady pinching dead roses off her bushes. 7:30 in the morning and there she was bent over a few plants, wearing an open housecoat over some sweats. She was positively intent over those little bushes, deadheading away like a woman possessed. I decided to be neighborly – something I don’t do often around here since a little casual conversation in the yard usually ends up with someone calling somebody the Antichrist and making me sit through an hour of Bible verses offered as proof. It’s risky.

So I cruised up in the Avalon, rolled down the window and said good morning. Your roses are lovely, ma’am. We’ll have to trade cuttings in the spring. Like that.

She rose up out of that bush and waddled down to the curb to get a better look at me. I’ll be pleased to, she says, in fact, if I find one more copperhead in my beds you can have the whole house.

Not only has she found three (three!) baby snakes in her flowers, she also found one in her living room caught fast on one of those sticky bug pads. A snake. In the house. She refused to pick the thing up, and three days later when the bug man came by, she showed it to him.

That’s a baby copperhead, ma’am, he said, and it’s still alive. She walked out to the garage, grabbed an axe, and diced that snake it right there on the living room floor with the bug man looking on.

I wasn’t there, but I imagine that bug fella took a step or two back. An old woman with an axe makes a powerful impression.

If you add in the roadkill snake we found up the street, that puts the official Copperhead Count at six. That’s too many to ignore. We only have the one shovel, and while it was the right tool for the job before, I feel certain it’s time to bulk up the arsenal.

It’s Home Depot time.

Dandy sign via txt2pic.com, where there are entirely too many ways to waste time and create lasting art.