Sarah Palin: Literacy Unplugged

No Telling

Sarah’s shopping a book deal, bless her heart. Since she’s already proven her shopping ability, this should be a piece of cake. What will she say to cuddle up to the reported 11 million-dollar advance? The real issue isn’t politics, though, it’s the glint in some publisher’s eye. If Rumpelstiltskin could spin straw into gold, publishers can, too.

Let’s be honest. I’m sure no one – no one – thinks she’ll tackle this without a competent ghostwriter. Not even Sarah herself has that kind of audacious hope.

So who’s the ghost going to be? Probably someone with years of ghostwriting experience and past successes. If they really wanted to follow through with the Sarah Palin template, they’d choose a relatively unknown writer. Someone folksy from some tiny town or state with scads of guns and churches. Someone, perhaps, who’s never really written anything before, but who has all this potential and is a quick study. The publishing house could gather a whole bevy of aides to teach the ghost things like verb agreement, comma usage, and – perhaps later – paragraphing. All of these skills could be learned on the job.

If a good portion of the country was willing to let our collective futures ride on such things with Governor Palin, surely some forward-thinking publishing house could do the same with her ghostwriter. It’s only money, take a chance.

Why, any one of us could fill that bill. Most of us are even over-qualified, so let’s do it. Got a catchy title? Already envisioning a snappy opening line? Maybe there’s a whole literary concept rattling around in your head. Post it in the comments. Who knows – Sarah may just snatch one of us up and hand us our Fifteen Minutes of Fame. Remember Joe the Plumber?