Author: Monda

Heads-up Texas, here comes Huckabee

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Sweet Jesus. A friend of mine said this picture existed and here it is. I’m not quite sure how to comment on such a photo. Instead, I’ll give you Texans a moment of silence much like the one I had when I first saw it. Such a thing gives pause.

I was a Texan once for two years while my daddy coached at Austin College. Fine place, Sherman, Texas, and I have many fond “tween” memories there that involve writing my first column in the school newspaper, pouring boiling water on tarantulas, breathing my first dust storm, and falling deeply into forever-love with a blonde-haired boy named Bob something. That kind of makes me a Texan, at least in a fleeting, cootie-catcher kind of way.

My fellow Texans, I strongly urge you all to gallop to the precinct polling places tomorrow and place your votes for Mike Huckabee. If he quits campaigning he’ll be out of a job and that means he and his familial entourage will be back in Arkansas. Oh my.

Besides, a vote for Huckabee is a vote for a Democratic candidate, in a roundabout, cootie-catcher kind of way, and that’s perfectly fine by me.

If any of y’all run into Bob what’s-his-name, tell him my love has not diminished.

Valentine’s Gifts for Writers, or Olivettis are a Girl’s Best Friend

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It’s almost V-Day, so get your plastic out and start buying. Since I waste a little bit of time each and every day on Ebay, I thought I’d share a few Valentine-specific goodies, like this Olivetti Valentine typewriter, circa 1969. If you don’t plan on spending at least $250 (that’s the bid right now), there’s another one coming up in a few days. These things have fast become groovy collector’s items, and it’s obvious why. If you sit behind this typewriter very, very quietly, you can almost hear “spill the wine, dig that girl” coming right out from under the hood.

Since both Olivettis will probably go for more than most of us want to spend, you can always feed the typewriter fetish with this vintage Royal Quiet Deluxe. I realize that “quiet” means something different to laptop users, but these are nifty little machines. This one has a little over a day left and is a tad over $40 right now. Theres a pricier one coming up later, so if you want to prove your love a little more cheaply, now is the time. I love the paper holding “ears”- kind of like the antennae on that portable television Mom used to put on a TV tray. You remember, back before cable.

Every writer needs another journal. It’s the pure intoxication of a virgin page, and no matter how many we already have it never hurts to have just one more. I’m a Moleskine and Chemistry Notebook gal myself, but some of the leather journals are just too delicious to pass up. This Fiorentina journal is crafted, not made. I sigh at such beauty, and I’m perfectly convinced I’d write better in one. Especially with a fountain pen.

I know better than that. As entrancing as those beautiful and expensive fountain pens are, I just can’t stand to write with one. I know there are rabid collectors out there who’ll tell me I just haven’t bought the right pen. Save your strength. Nothing writes like a $1.97 Uniball Signo 207. Nothing.

If you really want to impress on Valentine’s Day, you buy an obscenely large diamond. That’s easy. If you want to impress a writer, find a little ditty like this. It’s a writing box and every writer should have one. This folk art lap desk is more than just a writing surface – it’s a hidey-hole place to stash extra typing paper, Uniball 207s, and that Fiorentina journal. Keep in mind that if you don’t particularly like this one, Ebay has about fifty others for sale at any given moment. If you don’t buy it for the writer you love or who loves you, then for God’s sake send it to me.