Dear Retail Mucky-Mucks,
While other parts of the country religiously begin school just after Labor Day, around here the powers that be want school to start this week. You know, when it’s a nice and sultry 100+ degrees and the humidity makes the air palpable. It’s like breathing hot jello.
I’m trying very hard to remember what it was like as a school child in all those unairconditioned 1960’s classrooms. I know one whole wall was nothing but crank-windows and they were mostly open, but that’s because I recall fighting off errant wasps instead of the heat. Is this truly a sign of global warming, or was I too worried about playing on the monkeybars to care?
Regardless, I was reading a post about the horrors of back-to-school clothes shopping at Crazy Texas Mommy (I love her) and she brought up the tricky business of out-of-season shopping. She’s right, your stores are filled with sweaters and long pants and all manner of Fall bits, but Fall won’t happen around here until late October. Maybe not even then.
So what happened to all those summer clothes? They went on half-of-half sometime in late June. They’re gone, baby, and you’re not reordering. The Recession ate our school clothes.
It’s a double whammy. Somewhere all you retail CEOs are sitting around in turtlenecks and throwing back hot toddies. I’m guessing you’re enjoying mid-August somewhere in the Berkshires where folks have four distinct seasons. Down here, we can only dream and sling sweat.
In ragged old Summer clothes, no less.
Sincerely,
Monda
No Telling 
OMGOSH! You are tooo funny! I saw you in the Blog Notes today and check you out…so glad I did…did I read correctly that you live in Arkansas? OMGOSH .. so do I …. Sista's from the South….actually not as South as Alabama and Louisiana….
Enjoyed your “Bridal Shower” blog….looking forward to reading others ….
This is an awesome post! Congrats on the Blog of Note! Check my blog out?
-Sara
the-poet-girl.blogspot.com
I think your blog is absolutely wonderful and full of lots of cute tid bits! Thank you for sharing…especially loved the bridal shower bit.. it does seem that people only remember you when they can talk behind your back 🙂
Joybug56, hey there neighbor! I'm glad you stopped by.
Sara, thanks so much! Can't wait to check out your blog…
Igemzz, thanks! And I promise not to talk behind your back.
Yay – I'm glad you were a blog of note, otherwise I wouldn't have found you! Now I'm following you. 🙂 M
Congrats on blog of note! 🙂 Very exciting time.
In other news, I love this post. Absolutely hilarious. I start school on the 26th of this month, and TN is always muggy around this time of the year. Awesome. Can't wait to swim my way to class.
Would love for you to check out my blog! 🙂
~Stef
http://52weeksofwordage.blogspot.com
I'm glad you stumbled in, Amuse Me! I'll try to keep you entertained.
Oh, Stef. I see nothing but bad hair days and wretched clothing for the next month or two. TN is a great place otherwise, though. Nashville and Memphis are two of my favorite flavors.
I've noticed this happening just with sales in general, which makes me very sad. Around here, there are just no sales, nothing goes on sale, EVER. Clearance is dismal nowadays. Maybe they got savvy to all of us broke college kids that stalk the store waiting for something to go on sale, then make a bum's rush at it when it goes 50% off?
Either way, we've had maybe 3 90-degree days all summer, and the swimwear isn't even marked down at Target yet. wtf, Target, i want one of those pink damask-print bikinis but i do not want to pay $30 for it. It's going to stop being hot soon. LET A GIRL HAVE HER SALES DAMMIT. ;____;
feelin ur painz.
Thanks for the shout out and kind words, Lady!! You are by far my fave around these here bloggity parts!
The breathing hot jello part is absolutely genius. I've been trying to figure out to describe the air around here and that's it! I will have to steal this now!
Julia, where on earth do you live that there are no sales? You need to find a great second-hand shop. We've got one here that sells $300 jeans for $25. My daughter shops there all the time. There's bound to be one near you.
Anytime, Candace, and right back at you. I hear rain's on the way – the perfect steambath.
This is Awesome! LOVE This post! Well written!
Monda, I live in the northern part of Southeast Michigan. I am personally at least 28 miles from civilization in all directions. The sales have simply dried up or something, because hello! It's getting to be mid-to-late August here, and swimwear is still full price. But the office supplies are all dirt cheap right now, so maybe I'll parlay my clothes budget into notebooks…
Where I live in Northern Maine (real far north) we also start school this week, in fact, a couple of communities started school last week. We have at the end of September a harvest break for the potato farmers. I know what you mean about the weather too. It seems like we're finally getting a summer (after several straight weeks of rain) and school begins.
In our community, we have a major retail/discount store and a salvage store and I couldn't even find buttons today! As for the seasons…we have 4 distinct seasons, but can never find mittens in March or a decent pair of shorts in August, so I know what your talking about.
Love your blog and congrats for making Blog of Note.
gosh your funny. I can totally relate to the unairconditioned room, sweat poring off my forhead, dripping onto the book Im suposed to be reading….argggggg, such memories.
Love this, thanx again for the smile:)
Nomad, thanks! Come by anytime.
Julia, cheap office supplies are a good substitute for that ready-cash. If I could get away with it, I'd wear the same black dress every day and spend all my money on notebooks, pens, and typewriters.
2Teach, there's a blog-friend from Maine who posts HEAVENLY pictures. You're a lucky woman, except for the mittens-in-March thing.
Steven, how did we live without AC? I'm purposely blocking it out. Think I'll go out and pat the Rheem affectionately now.
Hi Monda, congrats on Blog of Note; that's how I found you. It's just great reading material written by a real writer. Refreshing and delightful, humorous and incisive. And you've been at it for quite a while–neat. I'm new, and a totally wanna be writer, but I believe as you do: just write something. I'll be following.
LOL…That's so funny, so true. If it's one thing we can relate to living in Arizona, is the heat. It's been 110 for a while now and it doesn't look like it will change soon.
I'm hot sure what these other folks do, myself, I go into hibernation. I hang out indoors, unless I have to work that day, and come when the sun goes down. So anyway..
I guess I really shouldn't complain. Three months of this heat and back tom the comfort zone. While everyone is battling the cold and snow, I'll be kicking back in short sleeves and no coat….nick
first time i really felt like stopping to comment, looked more like a womans site to me, but hey this old sea dog can relate to hot and sweaty especially that sticky humid kind like in ark.,la. tex. and okla. so keep in there gal sweaters on sale next week and parkas half off.
Thanks, Erin! All that incessant scribbling usually turns into something, so throw away nothing and never, ever quit.
But Nikgee, “it's a DRY heat” (I'll bet you hear that a lot). And yes, we'll all be laughing as we sit 'round the Thanksgiving table in our shirtsleeves. Take that, you four-seasoners.
Ah Therealbob, I sucked you in. Splendid! Sounds like you've seen a little time in the hotlands, mister. Any sea-dog time in the frigid north? I'm truly addicted to Deadliest Catch. Don't tell anybody.
ROFL! its been years and ppl still dont realize what season is what.. nice post, something to entertain the mind.. im now your follower..
anyway, im new to this blog thing can u check out my blog and see if its ok?
joblagz.blogspot.com
Maybe the retailer think they can control the weather just be selling us wool in August. There seems to be no other answer, Joblagz.
I just found you through the blogs of note. Brilliant blog you've got!!
Outsourcing!!! The retailers can only stock what the manufacturers are making and because of outsourcing to overseas mfrs. [read that any way you want] the onliest stuff available for stocking the stores is fall stuff.
Oh, yeah… It's the first day of school here, too. Gonna be 105. Why are they starting so early? So the local H.S. can play its homecoming game on September 4. WT*?
Oh… and the boat with the Halloween stuff arrives on Friday.
Fashion flash from an Ozarks farm chick, I'd bet the Ponderosa that shabby chic is the fashion trend to adorn your young'ens for beginning school this year. Oh, how I remember those sweltering school days made up of gnats, sticky sweat and tablet paper accordion fans. Have a wonderfully blessed summer day!
This relates to my early schooling, in the south, so well. Those sweltering school days. And, the recess spent digging clay for art class… -Jayne
Welcome, y'all, and a happy hot first day of school to most of you!
Outsourcing – it's a triple whammy now! And make no mistake, Ervin, the weather down here is always secondary to football season.
Nezzy, we'll be needing one of those school-paper accordion fans to shoo away the dragonflies today. it's a plague, I tell you.
I dug clay for art class, too! Right out of the ground near the jungle gym. Red/orange clay underneath everything like it was holding up the whole world, Jayne.
I'm thrilled you all stopped in. Now go get a tall glass of iced tea and take the rest of the afternoon off to reminisce. I'll write everyone an excuse.
J.I.T.
Trouble is, if you don't have defined seasons that are roughly the same throughout the 'kingdom' JIT won't work.
Maybe your clothing CEO's could pretend they are supplying different continents and stagger their purchase and retail sales systems. I guess that's too intelligent a solution.
As per the word verification I have just typed in ammen; (except I know there is one consonant too many)
I love all your posts!
This is why I shop at 'Thrifty Boutiques'. Find whatever you need, all year around and at a fraction of the price.
Keep the great posts a comin'
I would tell you to stop by mine sometime, but am too afraid you'll find all my comma splices 🙂 lol
Jeni
I love that you appreciate Word Verification Scrabble, Zacl. I have, on occasion, seen some great stuff. Ammen to that.
Don't worry, Jeni, I'll never grade your blog. Go ahead and share – be fearless!
I enjoyed reading your blog. As a fellow teacher and closet writer, I am also trying to get the old creative juices flowing once again with the start of my blog, and I am glad that sites like yours are serious about the actual writing.
Imagine back to school shopping in Florida… they sell winter jackets here.
thick. heavy. winter jackets.
It won't be half-way cold until January! Where are the flip-flops???
Thanks Mondo. You're very kind 🙂
Hiding under my name is
http://www.jenidunno.blogspot.com
Oops, Hit the publish button to quickly.
That's my link up there.
Jeni
Susan, I'm so glad you happened by! We've got to get you out of the writing closet. It's too dark in there anyway. Just five minutes ago I put up another post with your name all over it.
What they need to sell in Florida, Jessica, is a good raincoat. At least during the hurricane season, which is certainly upon you. Parkas. Good Lord.
Jeni, I love your blog! Just gave it a quick read and you can bet I'll be back.
Congrats on Blog of Note! You deserve it. I'm so glad that I got to start my day reading your blog! Well, I started my day hours ago, but I'm going to pretend that I just started, read your blog, and now I'll be in a better mood!
We do start school here next week. So sad. What happened to the Monday after Labor Day? I thought that was a rule. Boo hoo.
I buy school clothes for my kiddos when they go on clearance in June. I bought their winter clothes in March when they went on clearance. I'm a cheapo mom =)
Does anyone begin school after Labor Day anymore? And viva la Clearance Rack, Sarah!
Monda, i'm taking inspiration from your notes on the fridge blogs and others to try to start one that i actually may keep up with. http://letterslipstick.blogspot.com/
I'm so proud of you, Madeline! Listen, all you have to do is promise yourself some time and space for knocking these posts out. You can do it.
You already have! I love the new blog and will be checking back all the time. Count on it.
Hi, I love your blog! Just letting you know it's hotter than whatever in the Berkshires this week. Summer finally got here, in the middle of August. School doesn't start til after Labor Day, by then we'll be looking for our snowsuits.
Thanks, Mattenylou! I just the saw the cranberries on your blog – so THAT'S where they come from. Those hydrangeas. I've been trying to grow that specific kind for years now and they refuse to live. No wonder. They love the Berkshires.
I do too, now!
Hey, Arkansas Girl. I'm also a born and raised Arkansawyer. Love your blog…very funny. I'm a teacher, so I went back to school today. No new clothes though. lol
Well hey there, Janie! No new clothes here either, and I go back tomorrow. How was the first day?
Lovely blog:) I enjoy your writing very much!