The Taxman Cometh


Break out the bubbly, folks. For the first time in six years I’m actually getting a tax refund from the State of Arkansas. This is quite an accomplishment and I couldn’t be more pleased. Those revenue guys have been raking this gal over the coals for some time now. In six to eight weeks I’m assure that there will be a check in the mail. For five dollars. That the refund. Five bucks.

And I don’t care that the check won’t even buy lunch at McDonalds. At least not if I want something to drink.

But wait. There’s even more good news. The Federal Taxman has ALSO given me a break. Sure I owe money, but this time it’s just double-digits. I have enough mathematical acumen to understand that still puts me in the hole overall, but this year it’s more like a divot. I can replace a divot. It’s the cavernous, echoing Yellowstone-like holes that make me quit breathing, and you can bet I’ve been to the precipice and looked over the edge.

I’m going to cash that five-dollar check and spend it all in one place. Shouldn’t be hard to do. My head is spinning so with the thought of such a windfall that I scarcely know how to spend it. I’ve got six to eight weeks to think about it, though. If you have any suggestions just let me know.

5 thoughts on “The Taxman Cometh

  1. I would put it in savings. You might rake in about 2 cents a quarter – if you’re savvy enough.Or you could invest. With a little luck, you wouldn’t magically lose thousands of dollars as your $5 stock plummets through the floor in an Enronian-like crisis.I like those odds!

  2. If you dig around in your couch cushions for the change for tax, you could get 1. one package of toilet paper2. one box of Snow Caps3. A garish ballerina trinket made in Indochina4. A bottle of off-brand window cleaner5. A 20 oz. bottle of Aquafina at the dollar tree.Or buy a cup of coffee at the SC. Happy spending!

  3. I get the feeling some of you have experienced a five-dollar-windfall first hand.It’s a shame it’s not 1967 anymmore and the Ben Franklins store is gone. At a penney apiece I could’ve bought five hundred plastic army men.Candace’s idea sounds promising right now. With any charm at all I may be able to leave happy hour with my five bucks still intact.

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