I’m just full of ideas today. Yesterday I challenged my creative writing students to come up with odd titles to inspire us in class. The titles are trickling in and I decided to post a few of my own. I went completely blank.
That happens sometimes, especially when I’m grading papers. Then I remembered Crazy Texas Mommy ( a blog you simply shouldn’t miss) and her recent unpleasantness with mysterious blog visitors. That made me look at my blog stats and voila – there were my titles.
When folks stumble upon this blog, they generally do so by putting a string of words into a Google search. While they’re usually looking for something other than my blog, sometimes they stop by anyway. My blog stats handily give me a list of terms and strings of words they used to find me. Here are my favorites:
- Is Brandy a trashy name?
- jello salad recipe for funerals
- ACT test poems
- pageant hair
- fuck southern women
- side dishes with turducken
- missing pin in a jumperoo
- poems telling someone you hate them
- If there’s just one piece of advice I could give you
- Miss America lipstick pageant
So the challenge is this: write something using one of my searches and post it in today’s comments. It can be anything, really – a poem, a rant, a story, a twisted memory, a bad country song lyric. I’ll even invite rap lyrics because I can’t imagine NOT doing it. Use one as a line or a title. Or don’t and surprise me. You dream it up, post it by next Friday, and I’ll announce a winner on Saturday.
The winner will receive no monetary prize because, well, it’s awfully close to tax time. Instead, the challenge winner will receive a gorgeous blog badge (see above) that tells the entire electronic world what a stunning writer they are. With an award like that on your blog, you’re almost assured instant literary success, an expanding fan-base, and a ticker-tape love life. It could happen.
Enter as many times as you like. Tell all your friends. Take the challenge.
No Telling 
We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ ViagraMiss Maine’s firm pageant hairlike a <>Jackass<>bee bikini or a plutonium lattefiltered through control rodsgives Barker a better deep pocket fisherman jailbaitbuzz.
I KNEW you wouldn’t be able to resist this. That is an absolute classic.