The Monster – My New Underwood Noiseless

Feast your eyes. This was a gift today from a colleague who knew I’d love such an animal.

It’s unquestionably the most filthy typewriter I’ve ever seen up close, and certainly the heaviest one I’ve ever lugged into the house.

I made it as far as the kitchen table. That dangling piece of ribbony thread on the side is ( I assume) something important in advancing the carriage. This is probably why the spacebar doesn’t respond. I can tell it wants to, though.

The keys are stiff and slow to return, but the carriage moves back and forth smoothly. Looks like I’ll be winding ribbon by hand if I can get this machine to work.

The cobwebs are a bonus, I think, as most descriptions I can find online of the Underwood Noiseless fail to mention them.

There she is and I’m a little in awe of her. Here’s the plan: Since I’m completely mechanically stupid, I’ll haul this down to Acme Business Machines in North Little Rock tomorrow and see what my friends say. I doubt anyone there would be mean enough to, for example, suggest I sink it in the Arkansas River on my way home or anything. At least I hope not.

I’m still looking for the serial number, which may be hidden in plain sight by the dust and grime of seventy or so years. Everytime I go into the kitchen to look her over, I love the machine more. Thank you, Steve. This makes me very, very happy.