Phone Fail

No Telling

Maybe I’m making this harder than it has to be. I’m not sure exactly how long should I read the book and fiddle with the touch screen of a new cell phone before I give up. The learning curve between the Sorry Cell Phone I had and the shiny new electronic wonder beside me now may just be a little much – like walking out of a Math for General Ed course right into Calculus. It’s not an exaggeration.

I think I’m flunking Cell Phone.

The thing intimidates me. It’s crouching here on my desk in all its Samsung Omnia sleekness, taunting me, making me feel unbelievably stupid. Oh, it takes fabulous pictures – I figured that out first thing – and even sends them to my email. I got that part down, easy. It’s just a nightmare to answer a call. In fact, I’ve not been able to pick up a call yet.

I spent three hours last night attempting to return four phone calls and I don’t think success ever happened the same way twice. There was one texting attempt, but I mistakenly texted a person who also can’t work their phone. Neither of us may ever know if that message went through.

It’s time to screw my courage to the sticking place and learn this thing. I’m putting a limit on it, though, because using a phone shouldn’t require a PHD. If I can’t figure out how to pick up and make call by this afternoon, I’ll graciously admit defeat and take the damn thing back to Verizon for something with a little less abracadabra.

Meanwhile, Em is thumb-spinning away on her new rig as if it were a natural extension of her hand. Gen-Y whippersnapper.

Jitterbug or Blackberry?

No Telling

Let’s just say it’s time for a new cell phone. The groovy little phone I’m carrying around right now is older than The Perfect Grandson, woefully unattractive, and holds a charge for about half an hour. It still takes pictures (very important) but it doesn’t tend to take them well. I’d blabber on about the keypad, but I don’t text so it doesn’t matter.

Call me a geezer if you want. It’s a phone. You make calls on it. Isn’t that supposed to be the point?

This fine ride was free when I signed my life away on a contract with Alltel. Apparently Alltel doesn’t exist anymore. Was anyone else aware of this? Last month my bill was from Verizon, so I guess my waning contract is in someone else’s file cabinet now.

So now I have to shop around. Normally, shopping is a challenge I’m willing to take on, but we’re talking electronics and contracts here. It’s not like buying a new pair of pumps and a bag. So I went online to do a little comparison shopping and realized about five minutes in that I was in completely over my head.

Em jokes often about buying me a Jitterbug. If they took pictures I’d have one right now and Coolness Be Damned. Generation Y can keep their fascination with the intricate dance of electronics purchasing. The whole thing just makes me tired. My first phone was a rental rotary from Southwestern Bell. It came in two colors – black or tan – and my bill was under $8 a month. I didn’t have one of those groovy push-button wall phones until I was a married woman. And I made all my long distance calls in three feet of snow. Or something. The point is that a telephone shouldn’t be this much trouble.

Regardless, I’m past the point of no return with this sad little flip phone. It’s dented and scratched and breathing irregularly, so I feel confident it plans to give up the ghost before my contract runs out next month. Isn’t that always the way?

Help me out, folks. Simplify this process for me by giving me the skinny on good two-fer deals and cheap contract carriers. I’m going to put something on these frown lines right now before they become permanent.

snazzy image via My Confined Space

The snazzy drop-cap is a layout secret I’ll share with anyone who gives me shopping advice. Dangle that carrot, I say.

UPDATE: Here it is (but only for Blogger users):


1. Copy this code into a new blog post using the HTML mode. Change the “L” to whatever letter it should be. If you want to see exactly what it looks like beforehand, click Preview, not Compose. It will be perfect in Preview. Voila!

2. Want to do this with every single post? Copy the code, click on Settings, then Formatting. At the bottom there’s a Post Template box. Paste the code in there and it will automatically begin every post. All you need to do is change the letter in HTML mode. Double voila!

I thank you.