Now, Where Did I Put That Coat?

No Telling


I’ve just run around the house making all my faucets drippy to save the pipes. Forget global warming, folks, there’s a serious rend in the fabric of the earth’s karma going on here. Single digits and temperatures that start with a minus sign in Arkansas? This is the land of bubbling-tar streets and heatstroke. It’s meteorological terrorism.

Worse yet, I can’t find my coat. Honestly, I only wear one a week or so out of every year, and it’s always an all-weather, trenchy-thing at that. I’ve located the liner – those are always zipped out and discarded anyway – right where I left it in the hall coat-closet. In my house, that’s a little room where we hang graduation regalia and old prom dresses. I may have to go out in the world tomorrow morning wearing all my sweaters at once and looking like the homeless fellow who hangs out in front of the shoe repair store on VanRonkle Street.*

All this weather ridiculousness would be forgiven if it would simply snow. At least I’d have good reason to stay indoors and have no need of a missing trench coat. The smattering of surprise snow we had the other day lasted about half an hour. Now it’s colder than Anchorage, Alaska around here and there’s nary a residual flake.

I’ll make another trip around the house checking drips and closets and such before calling it a night. Wish me luck, and pray for snow.

* Don’t worry about our friend on VanRonkle. I have it on good authority that he’s enjoying the warm comforts of several Christian homes during this weather. We take care of our own down here.

18 thoughts on “Now, Where Did I Put That Coat?

  1. We have the cold and the snow–at least a few inches of it. Makes for two snow days for me:) Now if the athletic directors would just reschedule that double-header that's slated for tomorrow evening…my dance team and I could avoid venturing out in the single digit weather tomorrow night.

  2. Heh, I hope you find your coat. I had a friend once who lived in Phoenix. She worked for Motorola, whose headquarters are in Chicago. She actually DID own a winter coat, and she kept it in a locker at O'Hare airport for when she went to visit HQ.

    Maybe you should check the airport lockers for yours?

  3. I need to move to Arkansas, The freezing weather does not scare me, I live in the New York City suburbs. Selling points are folks that take in the homeless in bad weather (I bet they feed them on holidays also), a coat is only needed one week out of the year, and lastly no snow! Besides my faucets already leak.

  4. I hear ya! I am in Northern Oklahoma (close the the Arkansas border) and it is sunny and looks beautiful out there, but it is 3!!! And getting colder! They have called off school the last two days because of the cold temperatures. The people up North think we are crazy, but when you are not used to weather like this…closing school is what you do! LOL! Stay warm!

  5. I FOUND THE TRENCH COAT!

    Renee, I've done a little dance-team sponsoring and Bless Your Heart. I mean that. It's an under-loved and under-paid duty. You are a saint.

    Nathanael, I think that's what's happening here. I hope the heat works well in your new place.

    Oh, Kate. There have been years when the only reason I bought a coat at all was to attend some conference up north. Temporary. My coats go out of style before they get a good wearing.

    Nagehan, go make a snowman for me so I can live vicariously through your good fortune.

    I found it, Sally, but would have been even happier if I'd found a forgotten twenty in the pocket instead of a lone glove.

    Gypsy Chef, folks down here will talk about everyone and shake their heads and cluck quite a bit, but no one's going cold or hungry if we know about it. When I called the police to ask about our homeless fellow yesterday, they said over fifty people had called to make sure he was taken care of. The Pink Rose Society has him under their wing.

    The pipes still flow this morning, Isabella. Two more days of this and who knows. All that shoveling makes me tired just thinking about it. Bless your heart.

    MMM! I saw video of glaciers floating the Mississippi near you. This is no way to live. Hang in there!

    Stephanie, I'll bet you're wishing for a little aloha right about now. I am, too.

  6. Total agreement! Arkansas shouldn't feel like this. I went to work this morning and my car's temp gauge said it was 1 degree. ONE! Even with a fire in the fireplace, I'm freeeeeezing!!!

  7. Glad to hear you've survived the cold with water still running and coat found! 'Course there are still a couple more days of this to go. And then who knows what the rest of the winter will bring?! We've had unbearable temps here in TN plus just enough snow to make roads,dogs, and shoes messy, but not make things fun, or very pretty.

  8. When I look out the window of my living room here in Switzerland I see heaps and heaps of snow on the wooded hillsides and it reminds me of, well, Switzerland – just as it should be.

  9. Granny, as long as this weather knocks down the bugs in the Spring, I can live with it.

    Greenfingers, we're now two days into this freeze and my guess is that by tomorrow every plumber in town will be on overtime. Mark my words.

    Janie, it's not fit for anyone out there. I'm staying inside until the thaw.

    Sorcerer, still no snow here. I doubt we'll see any this month. There's always the odd flake or two in February, but that's weeks away.

    Laura, I watched some of the Knoxville slipping and sliding on CNN yesterday. Y'all have a hell of a mess there, so bless ALL your hearts.

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