It Seldom Gets Any Better Than This

No Telling

My glowing post on the fine gathering of Conway NaNoWriMo scribblers has been preempted for breaking news straight from the Log Cabin Democrat. This is certainly the mother of all hijacks, and it happened in my own backyard. Practically.

Two shipping containers full of Kotex and baby wipes and whatnot, whisked away by feminine hygiene pirates in the dark of night. Local police feel certain they were stolen for the shipping containers alone, as it’s unlikely they’ll fence the goods. As one official noted, “It isn’t like a trailer load of flatscreen TVs.”

Do tell.

I‘d prefer to imagine a whole band of young mothers, desperate in these tough times, clipping padlocks and absconding with the goods. Gals sitting around the dinette table in some double-wide, drinking box-wine and splitting up the loot – that sort of thing.

Five days before the beginning of National Novel Writing Month, this is a gift indeed.

15 thoughts on “It Seldom Gets Any Better Than This

  1. You can't make this stuff up, can you? I'm not sure that a double wide would be large enough to hold all of their loot. Feminine products are fairly cheap, so I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around how MUCH, volume-wise, it actually is.

    Too bad I can't work that into my NaNo. Darn.

  2. I like your version better, too. I'd love to see that fully stocked linen closet and the knowing look in her eyes when someone discreetly asks, “Would you happen to have an extra maxi-pad?”

  3. See, this story has so many places to go. That's what makes it a keeper.

    I'm guessing the thieves weren't from around here, or they'd have known better than to run off with trucking containers from Kimberly Clark. Everyone knows what they make there.

    So what do you think will happen with all that feminine loot? The other half of the story should be just as good.

  4. “So what do you think will happen with all that feminine loot?”

    Well, if the Arkansas River suddenly experiences an unexpected drought, you'll have your answer! 😉

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