There Needs to be a Twelve-Step Program




9 thoughts on “There Needs to be a Twelve-Step Program

  1. I can so relate. Or, if we\’re continuing the AA jargon: I identify. I still check pretty much daily for that one perfect typer that I can\’t live without. Haven\’t bought an ebay typewriter in months, and don\’t plan to, but I can\’t help checking.

  2. And, by the way, that Corsair is exactly like one my family had back in the day. It was likely the first typewriter I ever saw, and certainly the first I ever used. I\’d almost forgotten it, but I looked at the picture and I can distincly recall those two white buttons that open the thing up. Ah, memories.

  3. I\’ve barely started using my 2 Royal portables in earnest again and already I\’m wanting to expand and diversify my tiny collection. I got one for free and another for $2.50, so I\’m used to being a real cheapskate. Better stay far away from ebay – thanks for the warning! 🙂

  4. I have been trying to think of a scientific way to quantify this machine-lust, as a (useless) exercise in keeping myself distracted from eBay. I\’ve settled on TPM, or Typewriters Per Month It\’s one thing to simply window-shop eBay in the hopes of snagging the Perfect machine before it evaporates into the mists like a clackety Brigadoon. It\’s another thing to actually bid with the hopes of winning or (ahem) scour the area thrift stores with a regularity and precision normally reserved for Air Force bombing campaigns.Up until about an hour ago I would have been proud to say that my TPM was holding steady at 1.5, but (no) thanks to my local Craigslist feed, I\’m now at a TPM of 2. At least April is nearly over with and I get another month\’s buffer to work with.

  5. In a few days, that little blue Corsair will be on it\’s way to Arkansas. Couldn\’t help it. Since that puts my TPM at 1.0, I\’m feeling fairly good about myself right now. I\’d like to know how mpclemens manages a .5 in April\’s TPM. Was it a case without a typewriter, or a machine with no keys? Maybe it was just a small one. You know, that Corsair\’s a smallish typewriter. I may be able to adjust my TPM down a bit.

  6. Monda, I should have noted that TPM is computed across the whole year, so if you get a strong start, your TPM drops month by month, thus making it an easy rationalizating tool. (\”But honey, my TPM is under 1 right now!\”)In my specific case, I had found 2 in March + 1 in April, so:3 typewriters / 2 months = 1.5 TPM#4 came into my life today, though, so I\’m back up at 2 TPM. If I can wait another few days, I\’ll drop back down to 1.3 in May. I hope.

  7. You clearly have a slide rule in your shirt pocket. Fine, then. Two in January, two in Feb, three really snazzy ones in March, and one in April. That puts my TPM at 2.0, dammit.ALTHOUGH…technically the Corsair won\’t arrive until it\’s May. I need a calculator.

  8. In fact I do but that\’s not relevant. What we\’re here to do now is talk about your perceived problem. First, typewriters-in-transit do not count. The only machines relevant to the computation of TPM is machines you have on-hand. If your TPM gets too low, then obvious eBay or Craigslist therapy is recommended, taking time out only to scour flea markets and Goodwill. A TPM of four or greater calls for more Drastic Measures:* You can adjust the calculation to include machines only in the same room as yourself. This is Typewriter Feng Shui, moving machines into other rooms to perfect the Harmonious TPM Balance present in your study/office/one-room manifesto cabin in the Montana woods. (Note: it is difficult to hide machines in a one-room cabin.)* You can decide to only compute TPM for the current month. Especially handy at the start of the month after refreshing your PayPal account.* You can generously bestow your surplus typers among your many online pals who leave witty and insightful comments in your wonderful, wonderful blogs.Remember people, YOU control your TPM, not the other way \’round.

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